the case against breastfeeding?

this piece by hannah rosin has been tearing through the blogosphere, or at least the feminist and mommy blogs. i think the article is best summarized by this, from the lead-in: “…is [breastfeeding] this generation’s vacuum cleaner—an instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down?” rosin points out that, despite all the public health campaigns and pediatric prescriptions, the evidence on breastfeeding is far from overwhelming. the benefits that have been found are marginal at best. and, yet, breastfeeding has become, “In certain overachieving circles, the ultimate badge of responsible parenting.” the problem then, is that,

The debate about breast-feeding takes place without any reference to its actual context in women’s lives. Breast-feeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way.

so, when it comes to breast-feeding, women are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. but, once you cut through all the sensationalism and all the incendiary comments, i think rosin misses the most important point of all.

changing public opinion so that we are no longer damned as bad, neglectful mothers if we don’t breastfeed is a red herring. the only thing it can do is assuage a guilt that rosin argues we shouldn’t even be feeling. it does not give working mothers any new options; it does not make co-parenting any easier; it does not even promote equity among the sexes. as rosin and moms and dads everywhere know, parenting is inconvenient. and it is hard. we all weigh the costs and benefits of our decisions and then do the best that we can. and we all draw our lines in the sand for what qualifies as “bad parenting.” maybe rosin is right that lines should be redrawn around breastfeeding. but this is a zero sum game here – if one doesn’t need to feel bad about not breastfeeding, then employers don’t need to make any accommodations for mothers who do want to breastfeed. if one doesn’t need to feel bad about spending only a few hours a day with his/her children, then employers don’t need to make any accommodations for parental leave or flex time. what is really at issue here is the age-old question of equality versus equity: have women really succeeded if we can do the same things men can do, but we have to do them in the same way that men do? what rosin wants is to feel good about not breastfeeding, but what she is pointing out is that often times women lack the options to make their own choices about breastfeeding. even worse, she is jeopardizing the gains that have been made to accommodate breastfeeding in the workplace and in our culture.

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keeping it all in perspective

my mom once told me, while i was complaining about the various little difficulties in my life, that if my problems could be solved with money, then i should consider myself very lucky. i've always been fortunate to be comfortable, financially, and i certainly don't want to minimize the challenges faced by those who struggle to meet their basic needs. but what my mom said really made me re-think how i spend money and why i try to save money.

because i am an economist by training, let me explain in economic terms: the opportunity cost of buying/doing something is what i give up in order to buy/do that thing. everything has an opportunity cost and, in most cases, it is not just a monetary cost. for example, you might think of the opportunity cost of getting take-out for dinner as just the $25 that could be spent on something else. but, in fact, the full opportunity cost would be less, because i "save" the time i would've spent cooking and cleaning and the marital strife caused by arguing with hubby about who makes dinner more and who should've made dinner today.

so, now, if something is really bothering me, and i can use money to resolve the issue, instead of assuming that i can't afford it, i think about what purchases i would have to forgo and whether i want those things more than i want this particular problem to go away. next time you have to make a decision about what to buy or what to do with your precious time, try taking a moment to reflect on what you are really giving up and what you are really gaining, and see if that gives you a little different perspective.

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equally shared parenting

the new york times published an interesting piece - on father's day - about the division of labor in two parent families. the ideal of "equally shared parenting" is described as

[Both parents] would work equal hours, spend equal time with their children, take equal responsibility for their home. Neither would be the keeper of the mental to-do lists; neither of their careers would take precedence. Both would be equally likely to plan a birthday party or know that the car needs oil or miss work for a sick child or remember (without prompting) to stop at the store for diapers and milk.

and, in the next paragraph, it is summarized as, "Gender should not determine the division of labor at home." but what i think the article fails to recognize is that the former is only one possible way of realizing the latter. not playing into gender stereotypes does not mean that a couple needs to share everything equally. it's great that some couples have been able to make this work but, from an economist's perspective, it is not likely to be the best use of resources. the most obvious example of this is the observation that, even if two people working part-time could earn as much as one of them working full-time, this almost certainly will not be true in five years when promotions for the part-timers take twice as long or never come at all. and, a family doesn't need both parents to keep track of the same things... that is the whole point of division of labor, and the reason that it makes production more efficient.

i also think it is wrong to imply that "equally shrared parenting" requires equal amounts of time with the children (even though it would be great if more employers made that a real possibility). when only dad works, the parents certainly don't claim that all the birthday presents are only from dad, and we would think it horribly chauvinistic if they did. so, in keeping with that logic, when only mom stays home, the parents certainly can't claim that mom is the only one doing any parenting (not that being the provider of material goods is equivalent to being a parent). in fact, we wouldn't even say that birthday presents are "mostly" from the parent who earns more, so we shouldn't say that "most" of the parenting is done by the person who is home more. if we want society to have a broader definition of work, then we need a broader definition of parenting too. men and women need the same options and to have their contributions equally appreciated, not necessarily to actually do equal amounts of everything.

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